i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize