I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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