its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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