he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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