I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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