That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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