So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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