Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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