she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
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oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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