Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
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Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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