so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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