I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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