im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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