Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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