Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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