Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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