just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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