She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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