Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize