I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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