mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
FUCK WHALES
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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