thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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