if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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