Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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