You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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