I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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