I faked an abortion last night.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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