the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
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I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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