We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize