____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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