You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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