this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize