I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize