my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize