You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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