Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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