i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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