So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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