Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize