Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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