Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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