just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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