Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize