Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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