you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
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Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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