so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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