best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
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Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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