I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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