when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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