I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize